14 Acts For Pakistan

Aug 14, 2013 by     2 Comments    Posted under: Expressions, General, Opinions

It’s that time of the year again. There’s green. Lots of it. Green everywhere you see. Green flags atop all the houses in your neighborhood. Green display pictures and twitcons. Girls dressed in green. Faces painted green. Londas gunning through the streets on their bikes, with green wrapped around their shoulders. On the fourteenth of August, it seems as if a more patriotic nation than ours does not exist on the face of this earth.

And ofcourse, an Independence Day without the relevant trends on twitter is impossible. So this year, we have trends like #HappyIndependenceDay #ForRoshanPakistan #LongLivePakistan #14thaugust #PakistanZindabad. One of these is #14ActsForPakistan which has been trending since before the fourteenth, and is a campaign launched by the nation’s most prominent Twitterati. The campaign is focused on acts of kindness to be carried out on and around Independence Day, and has been quite successful on the website.

However, some tweeps have been using it to express, and sometimes boast about, the k3wl stuff that they have done or do on the fourteenth. And this author found the said stuff so inspiring that he decided to put together a list of things that you could also do on Independence Day to show your love for Pakistan.

Act No. 1: Change your Facebook DP / Twitcon to a glittering or burning or blood-splattered or waving flag of Pakistan. Better yet, let it be you holding the flag. That will get you even more likes. Put up a totally irrelevant quote of Jinnah in the caption, without checking if it is authentic or not. 100 likes. Yay!

Act No. 2: Get your face painted green and white and go to Independence Day celebration parties. Get pictures taken of your face there, with the victory sign ofcourse, and then upload these pics to your facebook. Get more likes and comments.

Act No. 3: Upload a status update regarding how it is pessimistic to point out the negative things about Pakistan on fourteenth August. Ignore the fact that ten Shias/Ahmedis/Christians/Hindus were shot/raped/slain on the said fourteenth.

Act No. 4: Get your dad/brother/husband/driver/housekeeper to hoist the Pakistan flag on the highest place possible. Now show your kids/siblings how your flag is the highest in the neighborhood, thus developing a pointless sense of over-competitiveness in them.

Act No. 5: Get into random pointless debates on the internet about why it is wrong to be patriotic only for a day, or why it is wrong to label someone as ‘patriotic only for a day’. Whichever side you were on, go to sleep thinking you won.

Act No. 6: Bwoyzes. Remove the silencers from your bikes (if the bikes have one in the first place). Now join a biker gang and make your way to the seaview, creating as big a racket on the way as possible. Make sure there’s enough noise to wake Jinnah up from his grave. Independence Day without the Quaid? Not a chance!

Act No. 7: Girls. Dress up in a green and white outfit especially for the occasion before going out. Apply green nail polish and eye shadow too. Maybe even green lipstick. Like Umar Akmal. No? Acha, sorry.

Act No. 8: Send mass Independence Day wishes and texts to your whole contact list. Add ‘how are you celebrating today?’ to the texts you send to that guy/gal you like. Ofcourse, how can such an amazing opportunity to strike up a conversation with them be wasted?

Act No. 9: In a party for the occasion, celebrate Pakistan’s Independence Day on the beats of the latest Bollywood party tracks, with an occasional milli naghma adorning the playlist. Totally ignore the irony.

Act No. 10: In the very same party (or on a social network), abuse India and its inhabitants, cursing them in the most profane of languages possible. Without knowing the other side of the story, go on a rant about how the whole of the Indian nation has always been against Muslims and Pakistanis.

Act No. 11: Share a million of Quaid’s quotes on your facebook and twitter, half of which have been distorted or were never said by M.A. Jinnah.

Act No. 12: Change your twitter handle to something that suits the day, like @MeraPakistan or @PakistanKhappay or @ILoveImmyK or @PakForMuslimsOnly or @HindusOut.

Act No. 13:  Reminisce, on numerous social networks, how Independence Day celebrations in the old days used to be. Ignore the fact that those celebrations died out because you are sitting online reflecting on them (instead of carrying them on).

Act No. 14: Condemn how everyone is celebrating the day, and be that party-spoiler who destroys every patriotic photo and status update by commenting with the bitter truth. Better yet, write an article about it on an online Youth magazine. Like yours truly.

Adios, folks, and a #HappyIndepe… oh, wait, this isnt twitter. A Happy Independence Day to you. :)

2013-08-14 20_46_40-Twitter

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this article are solely those of the author and his green penguins and do not, in any way, represent the views of this website, or any of its owners.

The Author

Ali Qamber is an engineering student at PNEC, NUST. He is a certified maila from St. Patricks High and lives, loves and wastes his time in Karachi. Besides writing useless stuff such as above, he also enjoys the finer things in a Karachiite's life, like night-cricket, hangouts at the beach and strikes. Find him on twitter (@qamberger) or facebook (saliqamber).

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2 Comments + Add Comment

  • Pretty much the bitter truth nobody wants to hear. One could have done it the old way; buying and setting 14 birds free, but oh well! :P

  • Kill 14 Bhuttos? That one is a major #win, must say! :D

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