Jan 20, 2012 by     1 Comment     Posted under: Non-Fiction

Friendship was once an amazing bond that helped people a lot through rough times. Now, like everything in this world, friendship has expanded into certain categories: Good friends, Time Pass friends, mutual friends and of course, best friends.

It is sad that this amazing bond nowadays has lost its essence because we have started calling everyone we meet our ‘friend’. Instead of helping people through rough patches, sometimes, friendship turns into the roughest patch that you have to cross in life.

Your beliefs have a huge role to play in determining whether your friendship lasts or whether it would make you say “there is no such thing as friends forever”. Listed below, are some of the potentially destructive beliefs regarding friendship:

  1. My friend will always be there for me: Why? Doesn’t your friend have a family of his/her own? Can’t he/she have a bad day him/herself? Instead of waiting for your friend to figure out that there is something wrong with you, why can’t you go tell him/her what is wrong. Why assume that your friends have you all figured out to the extent that you need not even say anything when something goes wrong. Appreciate the fact that you have someone to go to when things take a wrong turn instead of fighting with that someone about not getting your subtle hints and telepathic cries for help.
  2. My friend will understand: For those who switch on their rude button when they are angry about something and take it out on their friends, assuming that your friend will understand is ridiculous. Your friend is a human being with feelings. This is an important fact that you might be forgetting about in your obsession with your own problems. Those who have friends, who actually understand, are really lucky. Most of the time such friendships would not last even if your friend knows why you are acting out.
  3. My friend will accept me with my flaws: You cannot be more wrong. If you are someone who is rude or self-centered, or self obsessed or goes on and on whining about a certain problem, or have one of the many other flaws that exist, your friend will certainly try to change them and turn you into a better person. The worst place to be in is when people stop pointing out the flaws in you because that is when people have given up on you. Next time when you get angry at your friend for pointing out a certain flaw in you, thank God that with your flaws, you still have an honest person as your friend and appreciate him/her.
  4. Expectations: We all have learned to burden our loved ones with our expectations. Appreciation is granted only when our friend does something for us that was not expected. Most of the time that poor friend of ours will probably be stressing about how not to let us down and meet our expectations at every occasion.

Expectations can very well be called the serial killer of every relationship including friendship. Expectations are the base of almost every argument between friends. The worst part is that we know how horrendous this ingredient will be to our bond of friendship but we still include it in the recipe and ruin our perfectly cooked friendship.

The minute you stop expecting, the part of you that gets disappointed will die and the part of you that appreciates every little thing will be wide awake. It will be easier to smile and thank your friend for the little things that matter.

  1. No sorry and no thank you: this is the belief that leaves no room for appreciation. Even if you think your friend knows how much you appreciate what he/she does, the appreciation is the reinforcement that every friend needs. Similarly, apology is also something that is needed to let a person know that he/she matters more than your ego even if your friend knows how sorry you are. Saying it makes everything real.

Friendship is important to get by in life. We humans are not referred to as social animals for just a bizarre reason that only some late philosophers can understand. We need people who have our backs. We all need friends and keeping them requires you to extend your hand too instead of just folding your arms and waiting for your friend to take all the steps towards you.

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1 Comment + Add Comment

  • I’m glad I read this. Very well written.

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