“You Can’t Do It!”

Nov 3, 2013 by     Comments Off on “You Can’t Do It!”    Posted under: Expressions, General, Opinions

Sarah loves Math. She would redo exercises from her textbook during an all-nighter just for the fun of it. She is fascinated how the ink dries within seconds when she makes a long square root and fills it with factoring formula. She’s become fond of placing her calculator aside and crunching decimals in her head.

She recently started Googling exercises and is amazed to find out new ways to solve mathematical problems. Playing with numbers makes her happy, makes her feel in place, in her own skin. Her skills at school have become legendary, inspiring awes from teachers and fellow students alike. For her, pursuing a career aligned with her mathematical passion would be like heaven on Earth. And the heavens up there are all what she has ever dreamt about. She aspires to be an Aerospace Engineer. Her grades ensure that she would get into one of the best universities anywhere in the world.

Everyday however, as soon as she wakes up, her soul takes a plunge towards Earth. Reality sinks its fangs in and her dreams shatter like glass fallen from a skyscraper. Her parents want her to be a doctor, just like one of her close cousins. She has been compelled to enroll with the intermediate board as it gives her a better chance to get into a local medical college.

She hates it – each iota and every second. She has been a Cambridge student since she started school and secured all As in her O levels. Now all of a sudden, she is part of a new education system which is completely alien to her. She has to associate with people belonging to a different mindset. She thinks it is dry, imposed and adds no value to her learning. She never wanted to be a pre-med student in the first place.

It’s not as if she didn’t talk to her father (himself an Accountant) that she was interested in something else. At the age of 17, she believes that she has tried everything to communicate her career interests. However, her father has simply been unwilling to talk about them. Upon insistence, he would simply assert: “Sarah, you are going to be a doctor and that is it”.

Further protests on her part have at times even lead to a shouting match. At times, she gets the silent treatment. On other occasions, he even blames her to be the cause of his heart condition.

Her mother is no help either.

She tells Sarah that religion advises children to listen and obey whatever parents tell them. “A good follower of religion should not even say “Uff” to parents”. She would further sanction that parents are even allowed strike (hit) their children if they are disobedient. Sarah is repeatedly reminded that by being “disloyal”, she revolts the Almighty. “Disrespectful children shall never be happy in this world or the Afterlife”. “They shall go to hell.”

For the sake of the atmosphere at home, for the sake of sanity and her parents happiness; Sarah has been forced to walk a path against her instincts; against every nerve in her body. A decision that will haunt her with regret for the rest of her life.

Sarah is one of the many children (boys and girls) in our society who despite having everything at their disposal lose their potential because of the culture of shame. They are the victims of guilt trips, time, anger and birth in the wrong family. Those who were dealt a bad hand as soon as they breathed their first. Who deserved nurturing parents but got critical ones in return.

These children have guardians who in order to overcome their shortcomings and insecurities tend to reach a new level of selfishness each passing day. Whether it be choosing a career or choosing a life partner, they need to have a final say without even knowing of what they are talking about. They just know that they are right and synonymize offspring with commodity. Begetters who misuse and misquote religion to bring up individuals who are devoid of independent decision making. Who always look up to their parents or the world for reassurance and approval whenever they are confronted with a choice.

Descendants who upon embarking on something new, hear their parents’ voice shouting in their head, “You can’t do it”, and are destined to continue the endless progeny of transference. People who in their time will repeat rather than repair, would tend to be even more emotionally abusive and negligent, and seize the throne of the one obsessed with control. Who shall seldom disregard their ego and love their offspring enough to let them go.


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