Just a step and you are out in the light

Friend: I will never be happy again if I break up with him.

Me: So, are you happy with him around?

Friend: Duh, no. He is a damn cheat. But but I can’t… I just can’t. He is my everything.

Me: Even after what he did to you?

My friend: Can’t help it…

Being a 16 years old foreign exchange student in America and having seen diverse relationships, this was quite a surprise. The youth of today, often, do not understand the true purpose of relationship. Surely, it is not confined to love messages and I-will-die-without-you attitude, whereas, it encompasses a more mature approach towards each other. Sometimes, this often results in breaking up for the best.  It is exasperating to observe how youth today put their lives in the hands of those who do not even care but rather manipulate their emotions the way they want. Instead of freeing themselves from the hazards of those relationships, some youth choose to stay and endure the perpetual trauma.

My friend, apparently, was head over heels in love with a guy, who always took her for granted and used to toy with her feelings. Despite knowing this, she refused to break her tie and dig out of this unhealthy relationship. The reason: she wasn’t strong enough or more specifically, she was self-doubting, thinking she could never find a better guy. As a result, she incessantly caved in to his wrong doings, putting his demands before her own wishes. Alas, soon, her life started revolving around him, rather than her career, family and friends.

Relationships are fragile. They demand steady input to dominate the delicacy. Once broken, their renewal requires never-ending efforts. That is how they roll. They are the creations of humans and it is our actions that determine their future. Having said this, all relationships are not meant to last forever. Sometimes, breaking apart is for the best, other times, it is an unanticipated outcome. Either way, it leaves undeviating scars on the victims. While it might ground unremitting throb in the head, the act of moving on, with time, surely imparts relief.

Some people might argue that their ‘ecstasy’ resides in that significant other. They NEED to hold on to that relationship, no matter what. The irony is that this will inflict equal pain, except that it hangs about longer. How often do we disregard genuine love because we live in forlorn hope of improving our old relationships? How many of us have rejected the diamonds for sparkling stones? Isn’t it disquieting how we let go of the real people for an ephemeral inner pleasure?

What’s more, if you put your finger on the root of this behavior, it all comes down to our insecurities. We feel secure in the presence of that person – we feel ‘complete’ with them. Actually, this is a reflection of our low-confidence and an evidence of a lack of personal identity. Everyone should be complete amongst themselves. Period. This is precisely what encourages a hale and hearty relationship unlike, that in which only one partner compromises and tolerates the garbage.

No wonder, everyone deserves. Belief in oneself and faith in your decisions can play wonders in changing you. There might be a strong attachment, a severe dependence and even addictive obsession with the other person, in the long run; however, holding on to the wrong throws nothing but problems at you. Not simple but nerve-racking problems.

Think. Look around. Are you letting go of someone for not-worth nonsense? Yes, it takes bravery to step out of the world of deceptive excellence and to realize how dumb you have been all these years. Seeking happiness is a piece of cake but searching for it in the right people is what matters.

In every relationship, there is an ‘I’, a ‘you’ and an ‘us’. That balances the nature.