I may have fallen in love a trillion times, yet I am not a ‘player’.

I, in my sane senses, confess that I can posses unadulterated love for certain someone; inculcate unfaltering attachment, care and concern, exhibit physical manifestation and not to mention, exude intermittent lovey dovey attitude. However, even after years of holding-holds, I can also break-up with that certain someone in a matter of minutes. After unmeasured time, may it be days, months or a century; I can fall in head over heels in love with a different individual again. This cycle, parting ways and embracing the new, can recur. And yet, despite the perpetual indulgence in different guys, I do not label myself a ‘player’.

Dear Readers, before you draw your sword of conclusions and throw a barrage of judgments, let me elucidate that I am neither a player, nor a one-night stander. To me, respect to emotions is akin to humanity. I was incited to articulate my thoughts after an appallingly disquieted dialogue with one of my friends. Here is how it went:

“Yaaaar, he is a pain. I can’t abandon him. I love him!! How can I possibly toy with his feelings by dumping him now, when our relationship has crossed a year? And above all, how can I love someone else again?”

“Sometimes, it dawns on you that you have settled for someone less than you deserve. In that moment, you liberate yourself from the wrong, irrespective of the time spent or memories made. Of course, you can love again. What’s erroneous in having experiences? Fall in love a thousand times until you put your fingers on the right person.”

“Are you trying to say I can go into a different relationship again, once I move on?”

“Precisely.”

“But I am my boyfriend’s property.”

“Wait. What?”

“I mean, even if I break-up, I am still entitled to ‘our love’ and I will live to tell the tale.”

“Oh lord, where has this world come to?! I am not offending your sentiments for your existing man. Nevertheless, love is not about tolerating the crap, for one. That’s a very juvenile thought. Even if I acquiesce to your explanation, sorry to pop your fantasy bubble here but I can love someone today yet desert him on the account of incessant downs in a relationship. Eventually, I will move on. Fall in love again. And even if that doesn’t work out either, I will repeat.”

“Well, good luck but I can’t manipulate feelings.”

“This is not manipulation. These are mere experiences that will hold significance in your future decision-making process. Playing with someone’s feeling is exploiting his emotions for lust or deluding him by dating other dudes simultaneously.”

“I think you are one of lamentable victims of our crooked society where modernization is presented as dating multiple guys. I am a one-man woman.”

“I am not asking you to fake I-love-you’s. Just understand that love is a social development, it can happen a trillion times. Experience, rather than resolving for less.”

“Ciao.”

I ruminated the complete discussion and my confidence in advancement of human thoughts ebbed. I was thrown into an unsolicited contemplation. Of course, feelings kindle with time and to confine one’s existence to just one ‘bad’ person, is an absolute waste of one’s sagacity. We wield the authority to decide the best for us and as we grow up, we apprehend that our dearest might, after all, be learning in disguise. The good lies in the farewell. This eventually gives way to more positivity in the shape of beautiful people.

Here is the deal: you might have spent years with that certain someone but with the comprehension that this is not the finest choice, one should free oneself and move about. This is not ‘playing’ with emotions. Your life is too valuable to squander on inconsequential people who do not endeavor for a blissful relationship.

In a nutshell, yes, before I tie a knot with my prince charming, I can travel with numerous knights on a horse until I figure out who gives me the best ride.