Great Expectations

“I honestly wasn’t expecting this from you.”

“Of all the people, you were not supposed to hurt me like that.”

“You have failed to meet my expectations yet again.”

“How could you?”

If you have heard or said any of these sentences lately, and I am absolutely sure that you must have, then I guess it is safe to say that we are all on the same boat here. You see, it is human nature to expect. And we can’t do anything to change that. The day we stop expecting, we lose all that we hold dear to us. Family, friends, loved ones, everything disappears. We are social animals, right? Social means that we have to interact with other living beings around us, and sadly enough, they are all humans as well. By default, we divide them in different categories on the basis of our expectations from them. We expect a lot! Believe me we do.

Now, when our expectations are not met, we end up hurting ourselves and the people around us. What should we do then? Stop expecting? No, that is not the solution to the problem at hand. But redefining and outlining our priorities might help. Expecting the right kind of thing from the right kind of person will surely help. For example, we expect our parents to stand by us in every situation. That is a valid expectation and it is true 99.99 times out of a 100. Then we expect our friends to be there for us when it comes down to the line. But would every friend be there when we need them? The answer is a big fat NO. Bear with me on this one as this might come as a shock. You expect from everyone you call your friend to be there for you because you are willing to do the same for them. However, we don’t know if they feel the same about us or not? So, expect wisely from your friends. Now, I’m not saying that all of your friends are like that, but some may be. There are friends who in reality, ‘Jaan chiraktay hain aap pe’, but such friends are rare, really. Very hard to find when they might be on the seat next to you. It all comes down to your luck in finding the right friends and I feel that I am lucky enough.

If we fail to live up to the expectations other people have set with us, they might be hurt at heart. You cannot control how they feel about you and what their perception about you is. But what we have in our hands is the amount of effort we are willing to put in for them. For example, for me, trust of a friend is everything. I trust blindly, and expect to be trusted blindly. Now, I know that I am very demanding, but I can’t change that. I also know that I am all the time willing to put everything on the line to win the trust of the people I trust with my life. So it all depends on your own perception of the word ‘Friends‘. Even if you have failed to come up to someone’s expectation and if you are willing to try and win their trust back, then my friends, I feel very happy in telling you that you will never lose the people close to you. It is bound to take some time but vigorous effort even makes a blind person see things.

Now, some might say that earlier I said that your efforts are not going to change what other people feel about you. I think I should explain that a bit. For example, there’s someone who you trust with your life and that person does the same for you. They mess up at something and you are hurt about that because you didn’t expect that from them. For the time being, you will be like I should stay away from this person and all, but with time, you will realize that the person is still the same IF he/she keeps on trusting you and is always there for you. You will have your best friend back in no time, only you will have to keep your eyes open.

Take another scenario, there’s this person who smashes your trust every time and you still expect him/her to be trustworthy, then my friend, you are a jackass!

The gist of all my bakwaas is, trust the right person, expect from the right person, and be there for all. It is not necessary for you to expect from everyone. If you tell someone that you care about them, mean it! Because once you manage to lose the trust (not misunderstood), it is close to impossible to win it back!

Best of luck in finding the right people to trust and the right people to expect from. I am content enough that I have at least seven friends who I know I can trust with my life. And no, you can’t have them. :D