Oh, we broke up!

She sat, dejected and defeated, staring repeatedly at her cell phone. She wanted the screen to light up desperately; she prayed that he would remember, she wished he would text. His so-called ‘jaan’ had turned eighteen. How could he possibly forget the big day? Sad as it was, she realized he had chosen to forget. Swallowing back her tears, she bitterly recalled the day he had chosen to leave her. Forever. Gone were the happy days, the lovey-dovey talks, and the passionate dates. Only tears were left now and of course a badly broken heart!

Raise your hands if you have been through this trauma! I am absolutely sure a lot of hands are going up. Nearly 83% of teenagers worldwide can closely relate to this situation. When a relationship at first takes a start, it’s like you have been transported to Cloud Nine, it’s like a taste of Paradise. Slowly and gradually, life takes a toll, the love potion starts wearing off and poof, you’re single again! That is the story of our lives!  Everything is brand new with a girl’s first boyfriend (or vice versa): feelings, experiences, managing relationships. It can be an overwhelming and confusing period…and the breakup can be devastating. No one likes to be rejected, and breaking up can feel like an ultimate, unrecoverable rejection. We all dream and plan day and night to marry our sweethearts, have babies, grow old etc. but how many of us actually get to fulfill these desires? Hardly any.

Ever wondered why? Why our flairs end up in a total disaster? Why many of us are succumbed to near death? Why our young hearts tend to discard love? Well, let’s examine the reasons!

Firstly, relationships based on looks are doomed from the beginning. Your ‘love at first sight’ might look like Edward Cullen or Ashton Kutcher but he sure isn’t. Those teenagers that prioritize love on the basis of outer beauty and physical appearances are still living in fairy tales. Yes, if your partner is good-looking with a million dollar smile and dazzling eyes that are bound to melt your heart, it will surely be a boost to your relationship but eventually you will realize that there is so much more than looks. Once you realize this, there is a ‘the end’ to your relation.

The main element in most relationships is that the girl gets way too serious. She wants a huge wedding, at least two cute, adorable babies and the list goes on. The emphasis here is on the fact that one partner gets too pressing, and this scares the other! For instance, the guy might not have any real intention of making this relation official for whatever reasons. Well, once he sees that things are getting a bit overboard, fear manifests itself and he calls it an end. Sad.

Jealousy is the foremost ingredient in a relationship. A little jealousy is definitely healthy but too much of it can poison hearts, and so murder the love. Many teenagers are flirtatious and playful. Studying in co-ed, many of us have friends of the opposite sex. Well, our partners are not going to really appreciate that. Possessive boyfriends and jealous girlfriends are something we all have witnessed. If there’s no trust, the relation is bound to fail.

He spends time with his friends too much. She gossips too much. He is obsessed with video games. She is straightening her hair all the time. These complaints are quite common. We think that our darling does not have enough time to spend with us; he is busy doing other stuff. Moreover, we do not accept our differences, we just want to change each other to suit our own interests and this is obviously not possible. In cases like these, the relationship is often sealed permanently.

Besides this, anger management issues, lack of communication giving way to misunderstandings, expecting too much and at times, family pressure also owe to teenage breakups. Studies are enemies of love. You don’t know if you should be studying for your test, or cheering up your girlfriend. Or miss your tuitions for a date? Attend the important chemistry class or cuddle in the library? In each case, either your grades suffer or your relation.

“Every relationship does not have to last forever; that may be setting your hopes too high right now. Sometimes you meet guys with whom you have a loving relationship for just a season,” says J.J. Smith, a dating and relationship expert, author of Why I Love Men: the Joys of Dating.

Breakups definitely leave us stronger and better than before, they add to our experiences (bad experiences, to be more precise) and we realize that it is only our families that will be there for us till the end. It is no use wasting precious amounts of time on someone who you will get bored with in due time. Instead, quality family time, friend hangouts and spending some time alone are much better options.

So on Valentines, when we are again reminded of our ex, let’s promise to let love in again, to get over with it and celebrate with our friends and family, with people who truly love us. And remind ourselves that our breakup may be God’s way of telling us that a much better piece awaits us. For all those who are committed, try not to let these causes snatch you away from each other and try your absolute best to make it work. As Sophocles beautifully expressed, “One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life. That word is love.”