Sometimes it’s not about the happy endings, it is really about that happy story that you and I wrote together…
Sitting under the canopy, while the sharp winter air blows in my face, brushing the falling tears with its chills, highly enhancing the stings of pain; I truly wish if I could ever reign for my fate.
Blended in the emotions of hurt and hatred by the world, I look up at the azure sky and wonder if He still remembers that he created me for some reasons. Or is it that He, like all the rest has forgotten me too? Shrouded into the darkness, shunned and neglected by all the beloved ones I contemplate over the mystic life story I’ve written for myself.
I won’t and possibly can’t defy the idea of labeling my life nothing but a holocaust! Rejection and failures have become an episodic presence in my life, but, somewhere I still grip onto the silly notion of optimism that it doesn’t really matter if the night is pitch dark because the integral suggestion of the darkest hour of night is that soon will I encounter the happy hour of dawn.
The yearning, crave, the un-ending desire of idealizing myself onto the platform I planned majorly contradicts the reality of my failures and defeats. Facing this fiasco apparently seems impossible but evidently it’s not, or is it?
The most aching loss still goes undefined. Those unattained dreams when transformed into worst nightmares, when your goodnight sleep is encroached by the agony of your past; it seems like all happy memories are nothing but sarcasm! Mocking at you, right at your face! Shattering your heart into minutest of its pieces! And knowing well along where the nerve throbs the most and where to hammer hard and nail in the harshness of the rejoiced moments!
Buried under this fragmentary arena of my paramount emotional turmoil I bounce off by mirth only due to this romantic mush, I highlighted in the golden chapters in my book of memories. This certain someone, as omnipresent in my life as evil and virtues in the fairy tales! Fueling the idea of supremacy while clinching on the hope of cementing the block of our adorable cracked with multi-level ignorance on your part and probably sheer idiotic intensity on mine, I sense the arrival of my missing glee!
Those periodic rows ending with laughter and tease might sound a colorful collection of memories to some; but for me they hold the gist of my happiness inside it. I might pretend from the outside of rudeness and obscurity to your presence but deep inside, the paranormal emotions I affiliate to you strongly indicates otherwise! And surely I believe these emotions might even outlive me and keep loving you till eternity and forever after! My avid dream to have you forever for life!
As an epilogue I wonder when I’ll be writing the post-script after the end of my life and what mystified me even more is if it will be having the Cinderella’s happy ending or will the happy ending be cross-bred with the old Romeo-Juliet death tales? But well, as I stated where I started, sometimes it is not about the happy endings, it is about the happy story you and I wrote together! And THAT explains the whirl of my life!!