Love is more than ‘he loves me, he loves me not!’

Dec 17, 2011 by     No Comments    Posted under: Opinions

I logged into my Facebook account, and opened my inbox just to have a flick through my messages. The message which was absolutely astounding to me was from one of my closest friends and it stated: ‘Ramsha. I broke up with Bruno a few days back, but I am going out with Steven now. You can’t even imagine how happy I am. I love Steven.’

Instead of being happy for her, I was speechless because she had uttered almost the same remarks for Bruno around two months ago. She described her love for Bruno as pure, deep-seated, and genuine when I talked to her on the phone a while back. She sounded so happy and exuberant while telling me about the promises and love they had exchanged. Her relationship seemed like a clichéd love story to me in which two lovers meet, unite, and live happily ever after. Now, however, this message of hers makes me question the love she claimed to have for Bruno. Did she even love him, or was it just mere attraction which vanished after sometime? Even if she did, then why wasn’t it difficult for her to move on and get into another relationship barely a week after she broke up? I wanted to ask her all these questions, but chose to stay quiet.

The problem with today’s youth is that they don’t even know what ‘love’ actually is yet they use this word so easily. Like ‘hate’, love is a very strong word. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it because this word has an ability to make or shatter someone’s heart and precious feelings. Walk a mile in the shoes of a heart broken person, and you would realize how disturbing and emotionally distracting this feeling is. Imagine yourself in a situation where your boyfriend (or girlfriend) tells you that he/she loves you one day and turns his back on you the other day. Such situation can leave you in a very miserable
condition, I assure.

Nowadays, people tend to rush ahead to get into a relationship with a person they have a ‘crush’ on without getting to know him better. This often ruins a relationship. Saying ‘I love you’ too soon won’t do any good, but in fact, it would take the real essence out of your relation. Let’s say you meet someone at your school and find him (or her) attractive. You start to develop feelings for him after sometime. The worst thing to do in this scenario would be to express your feelings in front of that person immediately instead of knowing him better. You should actually try to know that person better and develop a strong bond of friendship with him. If you are still convinced that it’s something you want to do after knowing that person closely then go for it and let him know the songs of your heart.

Isn’t it funny how people say they are ‘committed’ these days without even knowing the real meaning of the word commitment? They don’t even take a minute to change their relationship status from ‘committed’ to ‘single’ on social websites. What I think is that they need to understand and comprehend the actual idea of commitment. After going through a lot of research, I gathered that commitment is when you are willing to dedicate your time and energy to something you believe in or something you must do. It’s heavier and holds more importance than a mere promise. But unfortunately, it’s no more a big deal for people to break their promises and back off from their commitments.

Nonetheless, they shouldn’t make a commitment in the first place unless they are completely sure about it. I have a friend who proposed a girl a week ago and surprisingly, that girl didn’t even take a day to say yes although she didn’t know my friend closely. They got into a relationship on the same day and started dating afterwards. But after a few days, that girl realized she has stepped into something she couldn’t do and so they broke up. This incident has literally devastated and crushed my friend who, apparently, was in some serious love with that girl. I wouldn’t be wrong to state that it sounded absurd and ridiculous to me. The question which remains unanswered is why in the world did she say yes in the first place?!

Moreover, it’s weird how people set their relationship status as ‘it’s complicated’ on Facebook. What is that supposed to mean? Don’t get yourself involved into something which is complicated because it is not going to work no matter how hard you individually try. Plus, the idea of love at first sight is so improbable. You can be attracted to a person at first sight, but falling in love seems highly impossible. Come on, we are not in a Cinderella story in which the prince falls in love with a commoner at first sight and everything turns out well. We need to understand that it is real life and a fairy won’t come to solve our problems and issues. I am sorry for bursting your fantasy bubble, but it’s the truth and you can’t suppress it.

So if you are attracted to someone, try to know him/her better because that’s the key to a successful and an everlasting relationship. Don’t be a victim of infatuation and be wise while getting into something like this. Thus I rest my case with this sincere advice, the decision rests in your hands – eventually.

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