10 things I Hate about Twilight

1. Vampires do not sparkle or shine. Let’s review what we all know about vampires, shall we?  They only come out at night, sleep in coffins or tombs, hate holy water, crosses, and garlic. And have fangs. You are with me on this, right?  Well, Meyer’s not.  Meyer checked ‘none of the above’ and wrote in her own answers.  How cheeky of her.  Her vampires are sparkly, fragrant, mind-readers, and my favorite one – each vampire has a special power.

2. The books aren’t well-written. Just because every other word is a fancy adjective, doesn’t compose a good piece of writing. There’s too much fluff.

3. Edward’s perfection is described around more than a hundred times, I suppose? Edward is too perfect and has no flaws. We get it. He is hot!

4. Was the love between Edward and Bella ‘love at first sight’? No. How about we call it love at first smell? Edward loves Bella because she smells good. (I will use lavender freesia sprays from now on). They only love each other because she smells good (not because of her witty conversation, not her intelligence, or her kindness) and he is hot. There’s no other plausible reason given in the books.

5. Bella almost dies fifty thousand times, but Edward is always there to save her. It just gets plain boring.

6. There is something disturbing about Carlisle turning only teenagers into vampires.

7. Bella was too young for Edward, a hundred years difference that makes him a Pedophile.

8. So much face-touching in all the parts. Gross.

9. Bella attempts suicide. So much for a healthy relationship, I must say.

10. Isn’t it just too weird and creepy that Edward watched Bella sleep? If I were her (seriously I don’t want to be Bella), I would be running for the hills screaming ‘WEIRDO STALKER’ at the top of my lungs. But does she do that? No. She just says “did you hear my sleep talk?” I might as well not suggest it healthy to teach young girls that true love involves the guy watching you while you sleep.