Karachi Calling Karachi-MAN

Aug 25, 2011 by     No Comments    Posted under: Fiction

Remember the time when we watched Batman, Superman and Spiderman and thought such super-villains don’t exist, when Gotham city was supposed to be a mythical city filled with crime, from nowhere seemed possible? Think again.

With crime at an ever increasing rate, what we really need are superheroes rather than smart politicians. Yes, I’m talking about one regular person putting on leather tights and muscle-shaped uppers (hopefully without nipple sockets) at night and saving people.

A superhero in Karachi would not even need super speed, super strength, an x-ray vision, and the ability to throw fire out of his eyes. What he would really need is a bullet proof vest, pepper spray, and of course, style.

Can you imagine a mugger knocking on a car window with a gun saying ‘wallet nikaal’ and all of a sudden a wannabe Superman jumping in and kicking him off his bike, unleashing his secret weapon, a COCKROACH, and throwing it on the mugger’s face? No matter how much ‘bharam’ the mugger may have, everyone is afraid of cockroaches. Meanwhile, the signal going green, the car leaves and random men coming and peeing on him. THAT is unity!

So let’s think of a name in order to try and put this thought in motion. I’d say ‘makra-larka’ for Spiderman, except that if a radioactive spider was to bite someone in Karachi, he would probably have to be amputated. Plus, his talent may not earn him much since no one in Pakistan has the patience to work with people who hide their secret identity. So he’s out.

‘Chimgadar-aadmi’ for Batman just sounds plain creepy, though that is exactly what we need to scare away our not-so-friendly neighborhood muggers. A dark figure coming out of nowhere dressed like a bat is scary for any human being. But then again, one must really have the guts and resources to be able to pull off what Bruce Wayne did. In Karachi, hardly anyone has the time, money or intellect to make gadgets like he did. After paying all the possible taxes and bills, which is the primary duty for any superhero, he’d barely have enough to get fancy. So unfortunately, chimgadar-aadmi is out of our equation too.

‘Umda-banda’ for Superman sounds promising, given his abilities, but wearing his underwear on his pants might just make him look like a clown. He could, however, cause criminals to laugh to death. How can one take a man with his underwear over his pants, seriously? Especially in a city where respect is the last thing anyone is willing to give. Also, being an alien from Kryptistan, he may pose a threat to our people, who have major trust issues, of taking over Pakistan which takes him out of the picture as well.

What we need is hope. In all these comics, these cities (though made up) are normal places for normal people to live in until things go out of control and a few individuals take it in their hands to make things right because they believe that justice must be served.

I’m sure there is someone out there who has got enough drive in him to try to save, if not the world, then Karachi, at least. We need someone among us who knows the way we think. We need a ‘maila jigger’ to fight for our rights. And we shall call him Karachi-MAN!

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